Silent Hill Chat Room
by Chibi Raziel
Summary: This got totaly out of my hands. The cast of PS1 Silent Hill in my chat room with a little help of insanity. One shot. Yaoi warning.The whole thing is crazy so you're warned. Enjoy, yay!


DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, nor Konami (but I would like...), nor the characters, man not even a damn logo. Okeys, I'm done so stop bothering me for a while. This is my first fic, please be nice (extra nice). For a start I am counting with the help of the 100% Weiß kreuz Aya/Ken yaoi fan Miss Vampire as my co. So if anything goes wrong, kinda insane, it's her fault.

M. Vampire: HEY!!

C: Raziel: Also, any flames will go right to her ^_^

M. Vampire: URUSAI!!!!!!!_ !!

C. Raziel: I wont ramble anymore so, let's get it on, no?

THE SILENT HILL LOUSY SHOW: (a lo Geraldo).

This is rated PG13, since it contains: stupid yaoi hints, swering (lots), cheesy and lame jokes and whatnot. So beware, kiddies, beware!

M. Vampire: Iagree with that *munching pocky*

C. Raziel: ...As I was saying, one shot (maybe...), comedy (sorta...), oh and a lot of dc. Kauffman Bashing ('cause I can?t stand that bastard!)

M. Vampire: Anyways, enjoy the fic!!

C. Raziel: I was about to say that!!!XD

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C. Raziel: Good evening, minna-san!! Welcome to Chibi Raziel's chat room! Today we are going to interview the cast of the famous psico-horror PS1 game SILENT HILL! (Your welcome for the advertisement; Konami.) 

C. Raziel: Oh yes, let us start with our first guest, the slighty clumsy Harry Mason!

*Harry enters the room, waving hand at the supossed-to-be-there public*

C. Raziel: Looking good Harry, how are you?

Harry: Excuse me, have you seen my daugther?

C. Raziel:*sweatdrop*...errr...

M. Vampire: *enters without knocking* Hey bro, have you seen my...*blinks*

C. Raziel: *annoyed*What?¬_¬

M. Vampire: *pulling up shade glasses* Um, whatcha' doing?

C. Raziel: Em...kinda interviewing...

M. Vampire: Sugoi!! I'm in!!*seats besides Chibi Raziel*

C. Raziel: Um, I really don't think you should...

M. Vampire: Here.*hands pudding*

C. Raziel: Oh cool! *stars eating delighted, also turns even chibier* Okeys, lets get started!

Harry: Bribes...

C. Raziel: *still eating* Say Harry, what was your first impression when Konami choose you for this game?

Harry Well...

M. Vampire: Why you didn't get married after your wife's death? Were you dating some hot young me-

C. Raziel: Hey don't!! I was asking!

M. Vampire: Well, I was asking too.

Harry: Well, I dunno, I was needing some money for my daugther and I, you know, since my wife's death, it's just been my daugther and I...

C. Raziel *bored*

Harry: ...And someone told me to go to this casting, that it could be a good job...

M. Vampire: This is boring...

Harry: ...I also thought that it could be good for Cheryl too, she could learn about other countries and make many friends...

C. Raziel: *trying not to fall asleep*

M. Vampire: *already snoring*

*After one hour or so of rambling*

C. Raziel: *suddenly awakes, cleaning saliva off his chin* Uh! Ah... thanks, thanks you, that was very interwesting *still sleepy, just in case*

M. Vampire: *awakes too* Hey, you haven't answer my question! *pointing finger*

Harry: Well, there was this man...

C. Raziel: O.o Let us pass to the next guest!!

M. Vampire: Damn...*pouts*

C. Raziel *checking at card* Allrighty, the next guess is a nine-year-old-girl we all know. Lets give a wellcome to Cheryl Mason!

* Cheryl enters room all shy and innocent*

M. Vampire: *glares* I know your type, bitch!!

C. Raziel: O.o

Harry: o.O

Cheryl: *glares back* yo mamma!

M. Vampire: O.O What the %&"/ did you say?!!!!!!!

Cheryl: You hear right, you OLD $&%^^^"ª//*©»¥!!!

M. Vampire: OLD! OLD!!! *shows vampire fangs* I'LL TEACH YOU OLD YOU BIG MUTHER$%¥®*"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C. Raziel: *trying to stop Miss Vampire from jumping to Cheryl's neck and sucking blood the hell outta her* Stoooooooop!!!!! Killing the guests is baaaaaaad!!!!!!!

Harry: *Also doing the same with Cheryl who is starting to glow and trheatening to blow the whole room along with Miss Vampire* Stop, Cheryl, Or we'll have to pay the room's bill!!!!!!!!!!!

* After one hour or so of swering, spitting and cursing as demons, Chibi Raziel finally manages to make his co to dinrk some blood mixed with a strong dosis of valium, Harry shows Cheryl the Flauros, and then the peace is restored.*

C. Raziel: Okeys,*sights in relief* now I can finally make some questions. *sitting and cleaning some blood off his face* Say Cheryl, what did you think when Konami gave you this role?

Cheryl: I thought it was far too small, I mean, I only appear almost at the end of the game, they barely gave me dialogs, an in top of that, I was the final boss in one of the bad endings!!!!! That sucks!!!!!!!!!

M. Vampire: HA!!! Go suck some-

C. Raziel *gags Miss Vampire with his bloody handkerchief*Enough.

M. Vampire *slurps* Mmm, tashty. He, didn't kno' sho' we' an O tyfe!

C. Raziel *shakes frightened* L-lets keep on, shall we?

M. Vampire: * keeps slurping gag happily*^_^

C. Raziel: * more frightened* I'm regreting the valium stuff.

* At this time, Cheryl is still arguing with Harry about the script, and the money Konami was still owing to her.*

C. Raziel: Lets leave those guys alone. *sights* We are running out of time *checking handwatch* Alright, we'll pass to the next guest, Cibyl. *running out of entusiasm*

* enters with cheesy background of police series, pointing finger as a gun to the every-time-less-supossed-to-be public*

M. Vampire: *all cheery* Heeeeey! Here comes my favourite lesbian!!!!!!!

C. Raziel: O.o

Harry: o.O

Cheryl: I knew.

M. Vampire: Hey yo!*raising hand*

Cibyl: Hey yo! *raising hand, then sitting with legs all manly style, scratching supossed crotch* Damn, this leather pants.

C. Raziel: I knew I shouldn't let her get in. * deep sight* 

M. Vampire: Cheer up man! * hands some pudding*

C. Raziel: Oh cool! *eating happily, chibier again.* Say Cibyl, What did you think when first in town?

M. Vampire: I bet she tought "man, there's no women to molest here!"*ecchi grin*

Cibyl: Almost, pal.

C. Raziel: I can't believe this! * grabing head* Please, lets move to the next guest.

Cibyl: But I didn't answer yet!

C. Raziel: YOU ANSWERED ENOUGH!!!!!

M. Vampire: Oh, my. *rise eyebrow*

C. Raziel:* hyperventilates* sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffff................ okay, I'm fine. So, now we have the crazy Gillespie lady lady with us. * running out of hope*

M. Vampire: Crazy old fag........

C. Raziel: * death glare at her*

Dalia: *enters dancing and jumping all around singing Marylin Manson like a possesed*

M. Vampire: now that's scary.

C. Raziel: For the first time I agree with that. Eum..... *looking at Dalia how she twist like a weirdo* Miss Vampire, could you please, like, ask her something?

M. Vampire: Why???*rising eyebrow*

C. Raziel: I'll give you pocky....

M. Vampire: OKEY-DOKEY!!! Oh wait. You sure I can ask her THE Question???

C. Raziel: ......................................*fighting against his will*....................................Oh, whatever......................

M. Vampire: YAY!!! Okey *turning serious* Now I know some of you may not be prepared for this, please keep in mind this is not for my sick pleasure.....

C. Raziel: *cough*bullshit!*cough*bullshit!

M. Vampire: *death glare at him* Aaaanyways, lets move on with THE Question!! Okay Dalia!!!

Dalia: *seats and looks at her*

M. Vampire: *deathly serious* the Question is...

Dalia: .....

M. Vampire: The Question is!!!

Dalia: .....

M. Vampire: THE QUESTION IS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dalia: YES?????

M. Vampire: ...............*very deep breathe* Ho...HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!!!!TELL ME!!!!!!! I DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!!

Dalia: WHAT THE FU$%¥ !!!!!!!!!

Harry: O.O!!!!!!

Cheryl: O.O!!!!!

Cibyl: *all cliche* Biiiig mistake.

C. Raziel: *almost into tears* Why me?..... l-lets move to the last guest -'bout freaking time!!!-

*Now is Kauffman who enters the room, waving a hand, carrying his suitcase all proffesional and seats besides Harry.*

M. Vampire: *suddenly standing up and pointing at Kauffman* I KNEW IT WAS YOU!!!

Kauffman: What????

M. Vampire: I KNEW YOU RAPED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry: *blushes profussely*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl: *Gets sick* OH MY GOD, BRAIN SCARS, BRAIN SCARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cibyl:: *very angry* MAN, EVEN HIM GETS SOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*very angry endeed*

Dalia: *laughing her ass off*MUAAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA*untill she finaly chokes*

Kauffman: I've got no comments. *eyeing Harry's legs:*

C. Raziel: *Banging head against a wall* Somebody please KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M. Vampire: Confess!! I know you druged him and went into those lockers at the elementary school!! You pervert!!

Cheryl: Looks whose talking.

M. Vampire: *too busy yealling at Kauffman* I know you did!! I can get the proofs!! Now show me the drugs!!

Kauffman: Why? You want some?

M. Vampire: *blushes* Well, there are some bishonens I want to......

C. Raziel: *trying to cut wrist veins with plastic butter knive* I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this. Why the HELL THIS THING IS NOT WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M. Vampire: So, can I get some? *meaningful glare*

Kauffman: Sure. But you know the drill. *also meaningful glare*

M. Vampire: *huging the drugs* Sweet!!!

C. Raziel: *all forgotted in a corner, looking all psyco, chanting.* When I get into my loony room, I'll crash and bang my head into a bloody pulp, then she'll come and eat my rests, and then I'll kill her from the inside out:.........*so insane* 

M. Vampire: *hearing about blood picks her interest* Oh you!. *reachs inside her magical red backpack* Here *hands pudding*

C. Raziel: Oh cool!! *reachs pudding and gets chibier again* Well minna-san, that's all the time we have. I promise if I don't die while asleep I'll bring you another hot interview!!! See ya!!! *pocking red backpack for more pudding*

*Everyone start to leave. Kauffman drags Harry to the nearest closet, Cheryl gets herself into a mental hospital for therapy, Cibyl continues her police job filled with brutallity and harrasment, Dalia joined the Marilyn Manson rock band and departed into a world tour.*

M. Vampire: *eyeing the drugs* Gonna go fetch some sweet bishonens!^-^

C. Raziel: *sights deeply in relief* Last time I tag along with a psyco like her. Hey, sis! You better leave some of that stuf for me!!! I need some compensation!!!!!!! *also leaving room*

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*very late after that sorry events*

Lisa: Hellooooooo?....... is anybody thereeeeeeee?........... am I late for the interviewwwwwwww? Crap.

M. Vampire: *all high* Hey bro, did ya hear sumthin'?

C. Raziel: *also high* Nay.

The corny end.

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C. Raziel: I will never know what I was thinking when I asked your help.

M. Vampire: Um, because you never asked. I just came in. ^-^

C. Raziel: Oh right. Well, who cares after all. Hopefully we ended this fic without casualties, Konami would have sued us. Now I hope you enjoyed and laugh your ass off the same way we did writing this, bla, bla, bla, yada, yada, yada, okey I'm done.

M. Vampire: Please don't forget to leave reviews!

C. Raziel: Damn you. I was about to say that!

Ja matta!!!


End file.
